


why

by midnight_queery



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Cuddling, Drama, Emotional Rollercoaster, Emotions, F/F, Fluff, Fluffy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idk what happened, KaraLena, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Gets a Hug, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Soft Kara Danvers, Soft Lena Luthor, Soft Supercorp, SuperCorp, but while cuddling cuz i’m me and i need fluff, cuddly supercorp, karlena, lena is not happy so she steals kara’s ice cream, queer up people, supergirl reveal, they actually talk things through like adults, yes that’s a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:00:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25145842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnight_queery/pseuds/midnight_queery
Summary: After Lena kills Lex and he tells her that Kara is Supergirl, Lena goes to Kara’s apartment. She doesn’t really have a plan, and she’s about to leave without even knocking when a bleary-eyed Kara opens the door, sleepy but concerned.Lena impulsively barges into the apartment and ends up confronting Kara, and several things are revealed.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 22
Kudos: 802





	why

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t really felt like writing the past few days but I had this idea and decided to just write it instead of adding it to my list of Supercorp prompts, which is well over 120 already. ;-;
> 
> I haven’t really written much angst so any constructive criticism is welcome. Emphasis on constructive.
> 
> edit: i’ve fixed some annoying typos

Lena had intended to go to L-Corp. To throw herself into her work and forget everything that had just happened. To forget that she’d killed her brother. To forget the gleeful look on his face as he told her she was a fool for trusting Kara Danvers, aka Supergirl. She just wanted to forget.

Yet here she was, standing in front of Kara’s apartment building.

She didn’t know why she’d bothered to come here. She didn’t know if she’d even be able to speak when she saw Kara’s face, knowing she was Supergirl.

Knowing that the woman she considered her best friend had lied to her for years.

Lena told herself to leave. But she stubbornly, impulsively, made her way to Kara’s apartment. Up the stairs because she needed to be moving and couldn’t just stand around in the elevator, and then down the familiar hallway, her heart beating faster and faster with every step she took. She stopped at Kara’s door, unable to raise her hand to knock. She just stood there, her mind racing too fast for any thought to surface and her heart easily keeping pace.

She didn’t know how long she stood there before she finally gave up and turned to leave. She’d barely taken a step when she froze.

“Lena?” Kara’s voice was sleepy, and Lena abruptly realized it was barely 3 AM. “What’s wrong? You okay?” Kara punctuated her question with a yawn, and Lena turned around.

Kara was leaning heavily on her opened door, her hair down in messy tangles, her glasses a little crooked, and wearing the white pajamas with smiling potstickers Lena had gotten her as a gag gift last Christmas. She yawned again, peering drowsily at Lena through her glasses. She looked so human. So… Kara.

“Lena?” Kara’s voice was more concerned now, the familiar crinkle appearing between her eyebrows. “Are you okay?”

Lena’s words caught in her throat as Kara continued to watch her. She’d always thought she was good at reading people, and Kara seemed genuinely concerned. But why would Supergirl care about a Luthor? Was she worried some evil experiment of Lena’s had broken loose and Lena had come to beg for her help? Even though the thought came from her Lena found she didn’t believe it. Even after everything some part of her still trusted Kara.

Kara had told her she’d flown to her office on a bus- there was no way the woman was a good enough liar to have pretended to be Lena’s friend for this long. Right?

When Kara started to step forward Lena finally made up her mind and pushed past Kara and into the apartment, making note of how Kara reacted perfectly to Lena running into her, stumbling back slightly despite her super strength. Lena stopped only a few steps inside, staring at the place that had honestly felt like more of a home to her than her own apartment, dark eyes frantically searching for anything out of place, anything physical that could explain how utterly foreign the space now felt to her aside from the alien behind her closing and locking the door.

“Lena? What’s wrong?” Kara’s voice was more urgent now, but Lena still couldn’t reply. Her bag fell from her loose grasp and thumped onto the floor. “Lena, please. Are you hurt? Do I need to call someone? Lena?” 

Kara hurried around her so that she was in front of her, and she slipped her glasses down her nose a bit, her bright blue eyes scanning Lena head to toe. Lena dimly noted that the glasses must impede her powers, and she honestly wasn’t sure if she felt violated or grateful that Kara was checking her for injuries using her x-ray vision. She watched as Kara breathed a small sigh of relief, her heart squeezing painfully in her chest. Kara reached out for her and Lena recoiled, stepping back so quickly she almost fell over. Alarmed, Kara withdrew her hand, her troubled gaze seeking Lena’s, though the brunette kept her eyes trained on the floor.

“Lena?” Kara’s voice was smaller now, nervous.

“Why?” Lena managed to whisper, a few tears escaping and slipping down her cheeks. “Why didn’t you tell me, Kara?” Her voice wavered and broke on Kara’s name, and she jerked her head up to glare at her so-called best friend. “Why did you lie to me for years? Why didn’t you trust me?” Her volume escalated til it was a quiet but hoarse yell, and Kara flinched with every new question, her blue eyes wide with alarm and every trace of sleepiness gone. “How could you claim to be my friend, my _best_ friend, while lying to my face every _fucking_ day? Why did you force your way into my life when all you planned to do was betray me? Why-” Lena broke off, crying too hard to keep talking. She wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed, somehow hoping she could force the jagged, shattered parts of herself back together. “Why does everyone betray me?” Lena whispered brokenly. 

She squeezed her eyes shut, curling in on herself as her body shook with sobs, and when she felt two strong arms wrap around her she wished she had the strength, physical or emotional, to pull away, but instead she sunk into Kara’s warmth, wrapping her own arms around the blonde’s torso and burying her face in her chest.

“I’m sorry Lena,” Kara said quietly, sounding like she was about to start crying herself. “I’m so sorry, baby girl.” Lena’s stomach flipped at that last part, and she started crying harder, her knees buckling. Kara easily caught her, scooping her up into her arms. Lena adjusted herself so her face was buried in the crook of Kara’s neck, her arms now thrown around her shoulders as she continued to shake with sobs. Kara must have floated them over to the couch, because the only jostling Lena felt came from Kara sitting down, situating Lena sideways on her lap and wrapping her arms around Lena’s waist, one hand rubbing soothing circles on her back as she rocked them slightly.

“K-Kara,” Lena stammered. She clung tighter to her, and Kara started to sing quietly in a lilting, melodic language that definitely didn’t come from Earth.

Once Lena’s sobs had calmed to small sniffles, Kara stilled, the song ending on what Lena was pretty sure was its third repetition. The hand that had been rubbing her back came up to cradle Lena’s head, and Kara curled around her protectively, as if wishing to shield her from the pain she herself had caused. Lena, exhausted from her long and horrible day, stayed complacently in Kara’s lap, too worn out to try to voice her questions again. She could wait.

“At first,” Kara began quietly, “I didn’t know you well enough to tell you. Then, every time I started pestering Alex to let me tell you, you and Supergirl would get in a fight. And even when you were mad at Supergirl, you still… you still loved Kara.” Kara squeezed Lena slightly, and she felt the warm wetness of a teardrop fall on her cheek. “So I stopped asking Alex to let me tell you because I didn’t want you to be mad at me. I wanted to make you smile, not drown your liver.” Lena snorted at that. So she maybe had a slight drinking problem. But it was really more of a control problem considering she’d ended up in Kara’s arms tonight instead of the bottom of a liquor bottle.

“I wasn’t always fighting with Supergirl,” Lena said quietly when the silence had stretched on too long. She felt Kara nod.

“True. And eventually, when you and Supergirl seemed to be friends, I thought about telling you again. But then… something happened. Something that made me want to stop being Kara Danvers. To just… let Kara Danvers die. After all, who cared about some cub reporter? Supergirl was more useful.” Kara chuckled wetly, and Lena felt a chill run down her spine at the sound. What would she have done if Kara had just up and disappeared one day? “Alex tried to talk me out of it. But I figured it didn’t really matter to her- we worked together every day at the DEO anyway. I didn’t see why I should waste time being Kara Danvers when I could be saving people. Then I realized that if I stopped being Kara Danvers, I would lose _you_.” Kara’s hand stroked her hair, pausing to play with the ends before repeating the soothing motion (though Lena wasn’t sure which of them Kara was trying to soothe). “I didn’t want to lose you, so I kept being Kara Danvers. I told myself later that I didn’t tell you to protect you, but really I was just being selfish. I didn’t want to share _my_ Lena with Supergirl.”

Lena pulled away enough to see Kara’s face. Her mouth was set in a hard line, her eyes dimmer than Lena had ever seen them. Her voice was monotone, hollow and lifeless despite the turmoil Lena could clearly see in her eyes.

“You didn’t want to share me… with yourself?” Lena asked, her brow furrowed. In what universe did that make sense?

“Supergirl isn’t me. Not really.” Kara met her eyes, and Lena felt her heart stutter at the sheer amount of emotion swirling through them, like a storm on the horizon. “Kara Danvers is more me than anything else. But that’s not really what I meant. When someone knows I’m Supergirl, whether it’s because I told them or someone else did, suddenly I’m _always_ Supergirl. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing- they act like I’m always wearing the cape. I can’t have a single conversation with someone where Supergirl doesn’t dominate. I hate it.” Kara shook her head, her brow furrowed angrily. “So even though I knew it would hurt you I just. Kept lying.” Kara’s lips turned down in a frown and she shrugged.

Lena placed her right hand on Kara’s cheek, swiping her thumb over the single tear track. Kara leaned into Lena’s touch, her eyes fluttering closed and her face relaxing. A few more tears fell, and Lena realized that Kara’s odd behaviour earlier had been her trying to keep herself from crying.

“I’m sorry Lena,” Kara whispered again, her voice wavering with emotion. “Just, please believe me when I say it wasn’t about not trusting you. I trust you with my life.” Blue eyes full of conviction flashed open to meet Lena’s watery green ones and Lena’s heart felt a little lighter. Kara pulled her face away and immediately replaced it with her hand, tangling their fingers together and bringing their joined hands down to Lena’s lap. “At first I just wanted to get to know you better,” Kara began, her eyes falling to their clasped hands and staying there as she spoke. “I knew what people were saying about you, but when we met I just… didn’t think any of it was true. I-”

Kara stopped, her body stiff. Lena settled against her again, resting her head on the hero’s shoulder and letting her own gaze fixate on their clasped hands. She could feel Kara’s heartbeat thudding against her, and she belatedly realized that Kara wasn’t breathing. How long could a Kryptonian go without oxygen? Worried, Lena squeezed Kara’s hand, relieved when the woman took a deep, stuttering breath. Lena began tracing along Kara’s knuckles with her free hand.

“You reminded me of me, when I first came to Earth,” Kara finally said. “I felt like it was me against the world. I didn’t fit in at all- Krypton’s culture was so different, and even when I could speak English without an accent Alex always told me to stop talking like a robot. She _hated_ me.” Kara paused and huffed out a small laugh. “I may not be able to see your face but I can tell you’re raising your eyebrow incredulously, Lena.”

“Accurate,” Lena commented. “I really can’t imagine Alex hating you, Kara. She’s given me the shovel talk more times than I care to count.”

“I’m going to assume that means a not-so-subtle threat,” Kara muttered. She felt Lena nod and sighed. “Yeah, she’s really taken the role of overprotective big sister to heart.” Lena could hear Kara’s smile in her voice. “She did hate me though. She went from being an only child to having to take care of ‘a freak from space’. My only friend at first was… was Kenny.” Kara sniffled. “I- he. I didn’t know until later, but he saw me using my powers in the woods and… he still wanted to be my friend. He never brought it up. He was fine with treating me as just. As just Kara. And then he was murdered.”

“Murdered?” Lena blurted, the hand tracing designs into Kara’s stilling in shock.

“Yeah. He had a- a hobby of taking pictures. The sheriff wasn’t doing much to find his killer, so Alex and I started working together. Turned out Kenny was tutoring her in Calculus and they- they were friends too. We found his laptop and camera in the woods. And when we saw the pictures we realized why the sheriff wasn’t trying to find Kenny’s killer.” Kara laughed hollowly and Lena squeezed the woman’s hand between her own.

“Please tell me the sheriff didn’t do it,” Lena muttered. She’d thought Midvale was supposed to be a nice, quaint little town, not something out of a fucking murder mystery.

“Kenny had taken pictures of the sheriff selling drugs. So the sheriff killed him. And tried to run me and Alex off the road,” Kara added absently. “He nearly killed Alex in the locker room at school too, but I heard her screaming and rescued her. If I didn’t have powers we’d both be dead. So in the end Alex’s first arrest was when she was in high school.”

“What the actual fuck, Kara?”

“Life be crazy,” Kara said with a shrug, jostling Lena slightly. Lena snorted at the understatement. There was a long pause before she spoke again. “In the beginning I just really thought you could use a friend. So even though you were vehemently against it, I did my best to be there for you. I wasn’t really thinking about our families’ issues. I just… I wanted to get to know you better, and I wanted to help. So I did. And then, before I knew it, you were a major part of my life.” Kara hugged Lena closer for a moment, falling silent.

“It hurts,” Lena admitted quietly. “I- I had to fight all of my instincts just to be myself around you. To show… to show vulnerability. But I did because I thought that you truly cared for me, that you saw _me_ past my name and money. And then I find out you’ve been lying to me, hiding a major part of yourself from me for _years_. And I didn’t even find out from _you_ , Kara. I had to be told by- by…” Lena took a shuddering breath, unable to say his name as negative emotions drowned out her voice. She tried to pull away from Kara, letting go of her hand and swiveling in her lap so she could stand, but Kara’s arms snaked around her waist and pulled her back, flush against her chest. Lena froze when she felt Kara’s forehead thump gently against her back.

“Please don’t leave me, Lena.” The muffled plea was barely audible.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Lena asked weakly, her voice shaking.

“Because I love you.” Kara clung tighter. “Because I’m _in_ love with you.” Lena sucked in a breath, and everything remained quiet for several moments before she finally managed to speak.

“Kara-”

“I’m sorry,” Kara blurted, suddenly releasing her. “I’m sorry, I tried not to be. I’ve been swallowing those words every time we’ve talked for years because I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship but now I’ve already ruined it and I figure it can’t get any worse, right?” Lena felt Kara’s hands on her waist for a fraction of a second as Kara used her super speed to maneuver herself out from under her, setting her gently on the couch before appearing on the other side of the room, pacing inhumanly fast. “I’m in love with you and every time you’re in danger it’s like I have a kryptonite vice around my heart and I know I hurt you- I knew the entire time I was doing it and Lillian _said_ you’d hate me and you have every right to hate me but I love you so much it hurts and even if you hate me,” Kara stopped and scrubbed a hand over her face before turning to Lena and adopting her classic Supergirl pose. “Even if you hate me and never want to see me again I’m always going to protect you, Lena. Even if you don’t want me around I’m always going to be your friend, and no matter what happens just know that you can come to me and I _will_ help, paranoid sisters and prejudiced politics be damned.”

Lena knew there were a lot of things she needed to unpack from that particular ramble, but one stood out.

“My _mother_ knows who you are?” Lena hissed. “Kara! Do you have any idea how dangerous she is?”

“She’s known for awhile,” Kara said, her mouth quirked to the side. “I haven’t died yet. Well,” Kara’s brow furrowed, “I mean I kinda did die… but I’m okay now? And it wasn’t Lillian that time- it was Lex. Or, well, it was my Harun-El clone. But Lex is the one who brainwashed her? Me? Anyway,” Kara shook her head and gave Lena a hesitant grin. “I know now that I can siphon sunlight from grass and that dying can get Alex’s memory back!”

Lena took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. Kara was Supergirl. Kara was in love with her. Lillian knew Kara was Supergirl. Kara had died and come back… using the energy from the sun stored in the grass??? Alex had lost her memory at some point? Well that did explain the agent’s odd behaviour during the Red Daughter incident- she’d seemed more wary of Supergirl than of Lena.

“That’s… a lot of information,” Lena eventually said.

“Oh. Yeah I guess so. Now’s probably not the time to mention alternate Earths, time travel, or fifth dimensional imps, huh?”

Lena’s eyes snapped open and she stared at Kara in shock, scowling when she saw the woman’s shit-eating grin.

“Really?” Lena asked flatly. “Already cracking jokes, Supergirl?”

“You haven’t tried to punch me or stormed out yet, so…” Kara shrugged before crossing her arms. Her large grin faded into a hesitant smile.

“I’d rather not break my hand.” Lena rolled her eyes and Kara scoffed.

“I’ve been on this planet longer than I was on Krypton. Do you really think I don’t know how to take a punch without outing myself as an alien?” Kara walked over and sat on the other side of the couch, turning so she was facing Lena. “I opposed the alien detection device because I _know_ how humans treat you when they realize you’re different. I got better at pretending as I got older, but… kids are mean.” Kara’s face scrunched up and Lena huffed out a small laugh.

“You don’t have to be an alien to be bullied, Kara. Though I’m sure it doesn’t help any.” Lena settled back into the couch, but before Kara could copy her her stomach growled. “I suppose being an alien _does_ explain how you eat as much as you do and still have abs,” Lena commented when Kara’s face flushed.

Kara gave her a contemplative look, and a small blast of air later she had a tub of chocolate ice cream in her lap and a spoon already shoved in her mouth. Lena raised an eyebrow and Kara just hummed around the spoon in response.

“If you’re going to use your powers around me now why bother with the glasses?” Lena asked curiously.

“They dampen my powers a little,” Kara responded once she’d swallowed. She dug the spoon back into the ice cream and shot Lena a slightly disgusted look. “I really don’t wanna hear strangers doing it when I’m trying to eat.”

Lena stared for a moment in silence, never having thought of _that_ particular downside of super hearing. Then she started laughing.

“Hey! It’s not funny, Lena.” Kara pouted and Lena only laughed harder. “Boo. Quit being mean.”

“You’re the one not sharing the ice cream, Supergirl,” Lena said once her giggles had subsided. Kara raised her eyebrows and floated over so that she was sitting on the middle cushion. She held out the spoon, offering Lena a generous a scoop of ice cream. Lena reached for the spoon but Kara pulled it back, tutting. With a dramatic sigh Lena folded her hands in her lap and opened her mouth, watching Kara expectantly.

Kara gulped, a fierce blush turning even the tips of her ears pink as she slowly steered the spoon back towards Lena’s mouth. The brunette leaned forward and closed her lips around it before slowly pulling back, her eyes never leaving Kara’s even as she licked the ice cream from her lips. Kara was frozen, mouth agape and eyes the widest Lena had ever seen them. When Lena started laughing again Kara threw the spoon into the ice cream tub and covered her face with her hands.

“Lena,” she whined.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lena gasped out. “I couldn’t help it.” Kara crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Lena, the frown on her face completely ineffective since she was still as red as a tomato. Lena took the opportunity to reach out and snatch the ice cream away, eating several spoonfuls as Kara’s frown turned into a pout.

“Now who’s not sharing?” Kara mumbled. Lena rolled her eyes and sat the ice cream on the coffee table before grabbing the collar of Kara’s pajama top and tugging. A confused Kara took the hint and leaned forward, her surprised gasp swallowed by the kiss as Lena’s tongue licked into her mouth. Kara responded enthusiastically, deepening the chocolatey kiss and eliciting a small moan from the brunette. When Lena finally pulled back, her lungs burning, Kara stayed still, a dazed look on her face even as her eyes fluttered open.

“Wowzers,” Kara breathed. Her hands were clenched and trembling slightly, and Lena made a mental note to start working on some red sun lamps.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Lena murmured, smirking.

Kara just gave her a soft look and leaned in again, pressing her lips to Lena’s in a short, sweet kiss, before pulling back, glancing away shyly.

“Um, w-what does this mean?” Kara asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes darted up to Lena’s before looking away again, and a crinkle appeared between her eyebrows. Lena frowned and smoothed it away with the pad of her thumb before letting her hand slide down to cup Kara’s cheek.

“It means,” Lena began quietly, her thumb stroking Kara’s cheekbone, “that I don’t hate you. I’m still hurt, and it’s going to take me awhile to fully trust you again, but…” Lena took a deep breath and Kara’s eyes met hers, hope and sorrow shining from them in equal measure. “I still want you in my life. I’ll always want you in my life.” Lena pressed a soft kiss to Kara’s cheek. “And… if you’d like, we could… uh, date. That is, uhm, if you want to. You did, uh, well you did say that you, well, that-” Lena blushed, looking away from Kara and starting to pull her hand back. Kara quickly grabbed it with both of hers, clasping it to her chest.

“I said I’m in love with you, Lena Luthor,” Kara repeated. When Lena made a small sound of disbelief Kara narrowed her eyes. “You’re incredible, Lena. For as long as I’ve known you you’ve only ever tried to help. You do everything in your power to be good and to help people and make their lives better, even when the very people you’re trying to help make you out to be the villain just because of your last name. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met. And the smartest- and I’ve been to over a dozen planets. You’re sweet and funny and you always give everything 110% whether it’s a life-changing invention or a game night with our friends. You’re patient and understanding, and you try to see things from others’ points of view even when you don’t really have to.” Lena started to duck her head and Kara let go of her hand, instead cradling Lena’s face and holding her gaze even as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “You’re so, so strong Lena. Whether you’re facing a prissy board member or a hostile alien, you don’t back down. You fight for what you believe in and you strive to make the world a better place every single day.”

“I’m not-” Lena tried to interrupt, but Kara kept going.

“Good is supposed to be the opposite of bad, and evil is worse than bad but its opposite is still good and I wish there was a stronger word for it because that’s what you are. So I’ll have to settle for saying that you are so, so, _so_ good, Lena Luthor. You told me once that Kara Danvers was your hero, but you inspire me to do better every day. You’re _my_ hero and I honestly don’t know how I could ever _not_ love you.”

Lena was crying too much to even try to talk now, and Kara immediately scooped Lena into her lap, cradling her between her legs and wrapping her arms around her. Lena buried her face in the crook of Kara’s neck, both hands fisted in the blonde’s shirt as she struggled to calm down. Kara pressed a kiss to the top of Lena’s head and began carding her fingers through her silky dark hair.

“It’s okay, baby,” Kara said quietly. “Everything’s okay. Just let it all out, you’re safe with me.” Kara still remembered what Lena had once drunkenly told her about how crying in the Luthor household was not allowed, under any circumstance. “I love you, Lena, no matter what. You’re okay. Try to breathe, baby, everything’s okay. That’s it, good girl. You’re okay.” Kara continued to soothe Lena until the woman pulled away, sniffling slightly. Nervous green eyes met Kara’s, and she gave Lena a small smile. “See, baby girl? Everything’s fine.” The hand that had been stroking Lena’s hair fell to rub small circles on her back as Lena took several deep, calming breaths, her eyes never leaving Kara’s.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Lena asked hesitantly. Her hands fell to her lap and she started to fiddle with her fingers.

“Of course you can.” Kara pressed a kiss to Lena’s hairline before reaching down and taking both of her hands in her own. She stroked her thumbs over Lena’s knuckles and smiled when Lena relaxed. “There’s a spare toothbrush in the top drawer in the bathroom, and you can grab some comfy clothes from my closet.”

“W-would you mind if I took a shower?” Lena bit her lip and looked down at their clasped hands.

“I’ll grab you a towel and washcloth, and you can use whatever’s in there. Just be careful with the soap- it comes out of the bottle fast and if you use too much you _will_ smell like a flower shop all day.” Kara grinned at Lena, who chuckled slightly before nodding.

///

When Lena came out of the bathroom dressed in Kara’s well-worn NCU t-shirt and what she was now realizing were some _very_ short shorts, her hair in a loose braid, Kara felt heat pool low in her stomach. Kara thought she hid her reaction to seeing Lena in her clothes well, but judging by the woman’s amused look Kara probably had a dopey grin on her face.

“Like what you see, darling?” Lena purred. Kara just squeaked, nodding so rapidly her head was a blur, before disappearing into the bathroom and speeding through her nightly routine (even though it was already 5 AM and she was definitely having déjà vu). When she came back out she found Lena sitting on the bed, her back against a propped up pillow and her legs tucked under her. She was glaring down at her hands, and Kara could see her nibbling on her lip.

“Lena? What’s wrong?” Kara was hovering over the bed in an instant, and when Lena looked up, startled, Kara placed her fingertips on Lena’s cheek and her thumb on her bottom lip, gently pulling it down until Lena’s teeth released it. A faint blush rose to Lena’s cheeks, and Kara’s brow furrowed. “I can sleep on the couch if that’s what’s worrying you,” Kara offered.

“What? Oh, no, that’s not it.” Lena’s voice was subdued, but before Kara could ask what was wrong again Lena reached up and grabbed Kara’s hand, bringing it down from her face and holding it with both of her own, playing with Kara’s fingers. “I was just… thinking,” Lena began quietly. “You have enhanced vision, and enhanced hearing. And all of the products in the shower, from the soap to the shampoo and conditioner, are all-natural. So I was wondering… do you also have… enhanced smell?” Lena’s voice wavered slightly, and Kara realized she was afraid. It took her a moment to realize why.

“Ah.” Kara stopped hovering and landed, kneeling on the bed. She ran her free hand through her hair before letting it drop to her side. She sighed. “Yeah.” Lena’s shoulders immediately tensed, and she tried to speak, but her voice died in her throat. Kara waited, knowing what was coming and wishing that she could put this conversation off. She really didn’t want to know right now. The night had been crazy enough as it was.

“Does that mean you can… smell… g- gu…” Lena’s voice died in her throat and her entire body began to tremble.

“Gun powder,” Kara finished for her. Terrified eyes looked up and met her own, and when Kara nodded Lena squeezed her eyes shut. She let go of Kara’s hand and crossed her arms over her stomach, hunching her shoulders as her body shook more violently. Kara watched silently, her heart in her throat, before deciding she didn’t much care for trying to think things through and acting purely on impulse.

Kara put her hand on Lena’s shoulder and pushed her forward slightly before yanking the pillow out from behind her and sliding herself into the newly vacated spot. She wrapped her arms around the trembling woman and gently pulled until Lena sank back into her, the back of her head resting on Kara’s shoulder. The tremors calmed only slightly and Kara squeezed Lena gently, placing a soft kiss on the side of her head.

“It’s okay, Lena,” Kara said quietly. “Just tell me what happened.” She felt Lena take a deep, shuddering breath before her body went limp, relaxing completely in Kara’s hold.

“You’ll hate me,” Lena whispered, her voice full of dread. If Kara didn’t have super hearing there’s no way she would have been able to hear her.

“I could never hate you, baby girl.” Kara hugged Lena closer, wishing she could turn her super strength off so that she could hug her as hard as she wanted to. “I promise.”

Neither spoke for several minutes, until-

“I killed him,” Lena blurted, her voice breaking. “I killed Lex.”

“You- wait I thought I killed Lex. When I fought him in his fancy schmancy suit,” Kara blurted.

“No. I- I knew he would escape. Lex always has- always _had_ a backup plan. There was no way he’d start a fight with Supergirl if he didn’t have an escape. So I- I went to his hideout, the one we found in that pretentious mural he made in his cell. I went there and I waited. And sure enough he- he showed up. He used a transmatter portal to escape and I…” Lena halted and took several deep breaths. When she spoke again she was calmer, reciting what had happened like she was reading it off a script. “I aimed the gun at him and he just smiled and said there was no way I would kill him. I surprised myself when I pulled the trigger, but I knew that no one I loved would ever be safe with Lex around. Not you, or our friends, or Supergirl. So I shot him. Twice. But, Lex being the dramatic little shit he is- _was_ ,” Lena corrected herself again, “before he died he managed to tell me what a fool I was for trusting Kara Danvers when she hadn’t even told me she was Supergirl. I really should have blown his sick brain out instead of aiming for the lump of coal he called a heart,” Lena muttered bitterly, Lex’s cruel words still ringing in her ears. A moment later she slapped her hand over her mouth, realizing she’d said that last part out loud. To Kara. Lena expected Kara to push her away in disgust, or even to just disappear without a word and come back with handcuffs, but instead she felt Kara kiss her hair again.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone,” Kara said, voice thick with sorrow. “I’m sorry you had to hear it from him instead of me.” She kissed Lena’s hair again. “I’m sorry my selfishness gave that bastard another thing to hurt you with.” She placed a third kiss to Lena’s head and Lena squirmed until Kara loosened her hold enough for Lena to turn around, facing Kara on her hands and knees, her brow furrowed.

“Why the hell are you apologizing? I’m the one who killed someone! In cold blood! He didn’t even have a weapon! And since when do you cuss? Why-” Lena’s barrage of questions were cut off by Kara pressing a chaste kiss to her lips.

“Thank you.” Kara’s voice was sincere, her eyes clear of the judgment or disgust Lena had expected.

“I don’t understand,” Lena said finally, frowning. “I _murdered_ someone. Why are you thanking me?”

“Because,” Kara said quietly, her hands coming up to cradle Lena’s face. “You did it to protect me, and to protect our friends. He’d already proven that a prison couldn’t hold him, and even though it hurt you to do it, you did what you felt you had to. You may think it was in cold blood, but I don’t doubt that if he’d thought for even a moment that you were actually capable of killing him he would have killed you without hesitation. Just because he didn’t pull out a weapon it doesn’t mean he was unarmed. He was a dangerous murderer who put a fucking hit out on you,” Kara growled, anger coloring her voice. “I could have held back when I fought him, and I didn’t. I _wanted_ to kill him.” 

Kara’s body shook with anger and Lena quickly placed her hands on Kara’s arms, pulling the blonde’s hands away from her face so she could crawl forward and kiss her. The angry Kryptonian only calmed slightly, so Lena peppered her face with kisses, eventually coming back to her lips and smiling into the kiss when she felt Kara kissing her back. When Lena pulled away, once again cursing her need for oxygen, she found herself staring into brilliant blue eyes.

“I love you so much, Lena Luthor,” Kara breathed, a slight look of awe in her eyes.

“What’s your name?” Lena asked. Kara blinked at her, surprised by the abrupt question, and Lena quickly elaborated. “Your last name is Danvers because they adopted you, but what about before? On Krypton?”

“Uh, well, on Krypton my name was Kara Zor-El,” Kara murmured, letting her accent slip through. It made her first name sound slightly different, a small lilt curling around the syllables. “And of course here on Earth I’m Kara Danvers. But I tend to think of myself as Kara Zor-El Danvers. It’s what Eliza and Alex call me when I’m in trouble, at least.” Kara grinned sheepishly and Lena couldn’t resist darting forward to kiss the tip of Kara’s nose.

“Well, Kara Zor-El Danvers,” Lena announced, perfectly imitating Kara’s pronunciation, “I love you too.”

Kara beamed and Lena abruptly found herself laying on her back, Kara pinning her to the bed as she kissed her, one hand cradling her face and the other curled possessively around her hip. Lena had the vague thought that Kara’s powers were _quite_ useful before all of her brain power was occupied with the feel of Kara’s lips on her skin.


End file.
